Monday, January 19, 2009

Keeping My Pimp Hand Strong

So I was talking to a friend yesterday, and he was telling me of his 13 year old sister's shenanigans.

Last we she packed up her party gear, put pillows under her bed, and left with her friend to go to a party miles away. She didn't tell anyone or ask permission, and whilst my friend saw her going out the door, since he doesn't pay much attention to her, thought that she had had the requisite permissions and was in the clear. It wasn't until her mother asked "Where's X?" and he replied did they all find out about the duplicity.

They tried calling her cell phone. No answer. They called a friend and made the friend call, and they were able to garner where she was. Did I mention that this party was at a boy's house, a boy who she's been lying to try to get to his house for months?

The parents met up with her aunt and they made the trek to the location, where the mother was going to beat her down right there at the party, but the father held her back and they carried her home. The father took her cell phone and told her no tv for a week or some other rubbish punishment. That's what my friend told me with utter disgust in his voice. He has lost respect for his father.

Now you see, this is why me and my friends shouldn't have children... our parenting styles diverge from those parents. I would've turned up at the house, went into the party, draped her up and asked her what she was doing there, then gave her the kind of backhand which would make the kids say the next day that she was "keeping her pimp hand strong" . Then I would find the colluding friend and cuss her out in the middle of the party. Then I'd call her parents, and all of my daughter's parents and explain to them the situation and tell them that my daughter is not allowed out of the house without one of her parents present. That, of course, would be after I took off my slipper and started beating her on the way to the car. She'd have to go to school on Monday with a massive black eye, because they don't allow Jackie-O glasses.

Oh right, and then I'd apply for a transfer because I was sending her ass to boarding school. Her high school career would be finished before it even started. Take away cell phone and ban the tv? Nope, that would be her only contact to the outside world.

That ladies and gentlemen, is why I don't have kids. I don't play.

Peath Owt [lithp thtyle]


Xiana said...

Ok you now can comment on this blog.

maryjane said...

Take away her cell phone and no tv for a week?

No man, I would have beat her when I found her and then drag her to the car. You know how dangerous that is?

Bleh, that child needs a mentor because the lack of attention at home is detrimental.

Simon said...

Man, you are strict.

Mind you, this is why I’d make a terrible father. As long as she didn’t give me any lip, and played sweet, she’d probably get off scot free. That’s assuming that by the age of 13 she’d learned how to twist her father round her little finger, which is quite likely, as both my nieces had done by the age of three.

Xanadu said...

I would've done the same thing you suggested. But then we'd both get turned in for abusing our dear, innocent, sweet children. A little discipline is what more kids need these days. They get by with so much shit, because of that little "woe is me, I'm being mistreated" thing. Glad my son is an adult. LOL! Hugs.

Xiana said...

Simon - Awww, you're such a softie :p

Xanadu - I'm in Jamaica baby - call the police and they'll tell you to stop running up your parent's phone bill.

captron52 said...

Boy Id have never made it if I was your kid. I agree that kids are not punished enough theses days I hate it wehn someone tells me they sent their kids to timeout for a few hours.Cmon timeout in thhier room with tv video games cell phones and all the other good stuff. That aint no punishment.Maybeyu are right tho no kids for you right now. Hope you are having a great week. Hugs to ya my dearfriend

Xiana said...

Cap... at least it wasn't an option between a belt and a gun butt... I know people who've had those choices.

captron52 said...